Tinder Meltdown: As Told By Alexis Neiers

Tinder had a meltdown of epic proportions after Nancy Jo's OUTSTANDING piece in Vanity Fair titled: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse."

A series of tweets from Tinder accused Nancy Jo of portraying the popular dating app unfairly (though, let's face it, quite accurately.)


So, I decided to enlist the help of Alexis Neiers (who also had a meltdown back in 2010 during the short-lived reality show Pretty Wild after Nancy Jo published an article about her in Vanity Fair) to help recreate Tinder's memorable meltdown.

In case you can't see the video, you can also check it out here.

Tinder Tales: Funeral Edition

Last week I went on a date (or was it a date?) with a Tinder suitor that I have been talking to for about two weeks. After a week of texting we had made plans to meet, unfortunately, my grandma suffered a stroke and I had to postpone.

During the week that my grandma was in the hospital he kept in touch. He would ask about my grandma, and text me late a night (I slept at the hospital the whole time my grandma was there.) Of course, I took that as a great sign, heck, he seemed to care, right?

So last week we finally re-scheduled… we made plans to go to the movies, laid-back enough I thought. The first red flag should’ve been the fact that he was 30 minutes late. I mean, he only lives about 5 minutes away from my house. His excuse… “oh I’m running on Mexican time LOL.” hmmmm, OK!

The car ride wasn’t awkward, the movie was fun (well, scary since we watched Annabelle.) After the movie, we decided to hit up a bar nearby. I sensed that we were both having a great time. We danced, we people watched, laughed, exchanged stories. All signs of a successful date, or so I thought.

After our bar adventure, he dropped me off back home. I asked him to please text me to make sure he got home ok, and when he did we exchanged this convo:

The following days his texts were sporadic, it was more of him replying to my texts. We had made plans for him to accompany me to a networking event taking place in San Francisco the following Monday. I hadn’t really heard from him the rest of the week/weekend so; I casually texted him on Sunday asking if he was still down to go to the event. Anyway, he replied saying that he was still down to go, but he had a funeral to attend so he was working out the times. I mean, no offense but funeral arrangements don’t happen overnight.

So the day of the event he texted me this:

Insert my WTF face… my last response was, “no worries, is all good.” I mean, what was I supposed to say? I shared the screenshot with several friends, and the general consensus was the same…he gave me a sad excuse so I wouldn’t be mad. In all reality, he could’ve just said, hey, I don’t want to go, and I don’t want to see you again. It puzzles me as to how men go about this. It truly is quite simple, the excuses and lies are emotionally draining for both the one coming up with them, and the person on the other end.

After the last text exchange I quickly deleted the thread of text messages, his phone number, and unmatch him from tinder. Again, it truly is quite simple, no need to lie...men, please take note.

Tinder Tales: Creepsters Edition

So, I’ve been on tinder for about a month and so far here are my observations:

Some of the guys there like to collect matches. I mean, what is the purpose of a “match” if you are not going to attempt and talk to the person? Am I right? OR AM I RIGHT?

Other guys will seem extremely normal, and you'll wonder why they are even on tinder to begin with. And then you discover that they are shit-talkers like most population of men (at least from the Bay Area.) This specific type of guy on tinder is worth elaborating on a different post.

And, lastly, the weirdos. I am here to present you with three examples I came across (maybe it is better to be a match collector and never interact with these possible suitors) *le sigh*

Tinder Suitor #1

He was the first guy whose “moment” I like, and his messages were rather, hmm... interesting? I still want to give him the benefit of a doubt that he was in a sarcastic mood. 

Tinder Suitor #2

let- me- try- to- get- you- to- listen- to- my -music suitor… note to guys out there, if a girl tells you what she does for living, do not try to munch off of it… LAME

Tinder Suitor #3

The let me argue with you about your favorite bar.

*Note* I unmatched all three oh-so-very-appealing-suitors.



In all, lately I have found myself swiping left more than swiping right. I mean, do I really want to be in some guy’s match collection? What do these guys do anyway? Do they go click on their matches’ profiles? Do they show the pictures to their friends? A girl will never know...

Because If Yonce And HOVA Are Over…

Photo Credit: Rob Hoffman / Life And Times

Then there is really no hope left for us single mere mortals.

The universal consensus amongst most of my single friends is that we look to "successful" relationships or marriages as a typical guide as to what we want in our own personal lives. Yes, sometimes those come our way via famous people (possibly a terrible example), while others come via other friends or family members.

A friend and I will be going to the On The Run Tour in two weeks, and we could not be more excited – sadly a gray cloud dumped on us a few days ago as rumors surfaced on how Jay-Z is "allegedly" cheating on Queen Bey with designer Rachel Roy (reason behind Solange going cray-cray on him at the Met Gala), and how he is also "supposedly" keeping singer Mya as his side chick. 

"They are just rumors Azu," says my friend. But, as with all high-profile couples, there is always some truth to the rumor mill.

I have always been fascinated with Beyonce and Jay-Z, not only as artists (their music have influenced the younger generation of up-and-coming artists), but their private life has also been fascinating as well. From the moment they started dating, their romance has been on the limelight, and they somehow managed to be coy about it, and that in itself has brought a mystery as to how, when, why, where their romantic and financial empire was built.

I mean, how can Jay-Z cheat on Beyonce? This is a legitimate question people! Aside from physical beauty, she is a savvy business woman, a devoted mother, family oriented, and quite the talented singer as we all know. As another friend told me, there could be a million possibilities as to why he is "cheating." Obviously, if true, we the ordinary folks will never really know.

And so, that begs the question – if someone as beautiful, smart and talented as Beyonce gets cheated on, what hope is there for us single "girl next door" women of the world? A few weeks ago I was telling my friend how over the moon I was to be going to the show, to see them both live, to literally breathe Yonce's air. In an alternate universe, I honestly believed that her and her amazing love story could bring some good "dating juju" (if you would) to my ill-fated and often pathetic dating life. 

I remember when I saw them both at Coachella in 2010, their rendition of "Forever Young" was short of pure magic. You could see their love magically transpire through their harmonious voices, the love was felt in the way he looked at her, and she looked at him. For the duration of that performance, I got a glimpse of what a real and legit love looked like. I was there, front row, being crushed by the masses who wanted to make it to the front of the stage and experience what I was feeling.

If they do split after the tour is over, then what? Sure, there is a lot of money at stake. They both have managed to build a joint empire of unimaginable proportions. But, aside from the financial aspect, there is a baby girl who will have to grow up with her parents being divorced (as someone coming from divorced parents, IT SUCKS!) 

And, for us single ladies who semi looked up to their fantasy-perfect relationship – our idea of love will be forever crushed. If them being successful, and so in love couldn't keep their marriage together. Then, the common folks are doomed! Relationships and marriages take time, understanding, communication and trust. The lack of one, two or all of the mentioned most definitely break a twosome.

One thing I know, in order to protect my already disastrous dating karma, the day of the concert I will be carrying my invisible oxygen tank which will be the perfect accessory to the HOT outfit I already plan on wearing - lord only knows that I don't need the bad "dating juju." In the words of the great poet Jay-Z… all I need in this life of sin is me, my friends and my hot outfit. 

Photo Credit: Yosra El-Essawy / Life And Times

Mindy Lahiri Is The New Carrie Bradshaw

"Guys don't break up with girls they secretly want to be with." - Mindy 

Let’s talk about the season finale of The Mindy Project for just a second. I was so excited for Mindy and her new love interest Charlie aka “I’m not a guy. I’m a man.” Charlie is exactly the MAN that Mindy needs – a caring, secure of himself and wise man. Sadly, during the season finale I was terribly disappointed, angry, sad, heck devastated!

How could Mindy have fallen for Danny Castellano AGAIN? He catfish her, he stood her up at the Empire State Building; he is selfish, controlling, and possessive! HOW?!?!?! WHY?!!?!?! Actually, I know why! For what seems to be FOREVER, tv shows, have led us women to believe that it is OK to forgive the jerk, that these men we tend to fall for will eventually get it, and they will want to be with us, full on, no hiding, no BS. But it is ALL A VILE LIE! It is! Let’s keep it one hundred percent real – we women usually fall for the sweet talk, and sadly (as a friend told me), we get “dicknotized.” Once these men whisper sweet things, what we want to hear, we automatically forget all the wrongdoing. It is frustrating and exhausting!

And, you see, Mindy did it, she fell for it. And back in the late 90s, and early 2000s Carrie Bradshaw did it too. She let go of wonderful, caring, sweet Aidan, and fell into Mr. Big’s lies. May I remind you all that HE LEFT HER THE DAY OF THE WEDDING! And, she forgave him!

I just don’t get it! Why do we (women) allow these situations to happen? And if you are reading this, and you say that you have never been in a similar situation, you are flat out lying! We have all done it. We let go of the “good guy,” the “silver fox,” only to go back to the guy who broke our hearts, the one afraid of commitment, the cheater, the liar. I mean, the list goes on!

TV shows make us believe that going back or staying with these men is OK! that, in an alternate universe, these men will change into the men we let go of – those we should have stayed with to begin with. Mindy Lahiri and Carrie Bradshaw have failed us! They were supposed to set the example for the rest of us, and not let us fall into the spiderweb of lies.

Instead, Carrie let go of perfect Aidan, and Mindy fell into the trap of Danny Castellano, and entirely shut out sexy silver fox aka Charlie.

I JUST CAN'T! I HATE YOU DANNY CASTELLANO!

 Photo Credits: The Mindy Project on FOX